If we truly believe in justice & due process, then you'll want to read this story and sign the petition to demand it also apply to the Menendez brothers—here's why
This is an excellent argument, Qasim. I recall being very frustrated with Dominick Dunne’s coverage of the Menendez trials in Vanity Fair because he so completely dismissed the brothers’ allegations of childhood sexual abuse. Dunne, who died in 2009, says he was frequently beaten as a child by his surgeon father, who called him a “sissy.” He insisted that he was never sexually abused, or tempted to kill him.
I went to high school with Erik & Lyle, a small enough school that we knew who everyone was. I was never comfortable with the trial and sentencing, and have been sickened by what I've been learning in the last few months' articles about their childhood abuse. Can't tell you how relieved I am to hear about their healing despite being in prison. Thank you for speaking up about what they deserve, QR.
What you said in this section "A Legal System Built to Ignore Male Abuse Survivors" And I remember when Terry Crews came forward and the rapper 50 Cents mocked him.
But another case also comes to mind is the trafficking victim that killed her abuser. And still was sentenced to jail. Chrystul Kizer. Even though the court acknowledged that she had been sexually abused and trafficked and was still a minor. The court believed her story, but they decided that she planned the murder.
Thank you! Anyone who is abused deserves the utmost consideration. And we can’t, as a society, be too rigid and self-righteous to correct our mistakes. Witness the current “administration.”
While my doctors say I'm still not supposed to be watching or reading anything news-related, I couldn't help but sign this. Thank you for bringing it to people's attention. I hope you are doing well! 🕊️♥️🤲
Thank you so much for this post, for educating people about what really happened with the Menendez case. It’s good to see someone who understands the psychological and political undercurrents at play here, which were all but invisible at the time.
I remember how the ‘spoiled’ narrative dominated all the reporting back then, and how it got deeply embedded within the public consciousness. Nobody was saying anything then about the damage of sexual abuse- most didn’t even believe their claims. Lyle and Erik were terrorized throughout their childhoods by their own controlling, abusive parents into what they truly perceived as a basic survival situation. It was Imperfect Self Defense, as their lawyer rightly argued. They made a terrible mistake, but they didn’t have a grip on reality because of what their lives had been like, what they’d suffered through in secret for years. Lyle and Erik hadn’t even been allowed to have real friends, only relatives, acquaintances, and each other.
As a result of all the abuse, at that point they were emotionally stunted and immature. Lyle and Erik tried to soothe themselves in the aftermath of the horrific incident by following their parents’ lifelong example: they bought things. They didn’t have the maturity to examine that action; they couldn’t. Spending that money was a learned coping mechanism, and they were adjusting to an unaccustomed freedom that was wildly different from anything they’d experienced before. To me, their ‘shopping sprees’ that were so vilified are the actions of two hurting, confused, traumatized children trying to be grown ups the only way they knew how.
I grew up in a high-control, emotionally neglectful environment, and went through childhood traumas. Thank goodness I didn’t experience what the Menendez brothers did, but I get what they were dealing with. Fear becomes such a constant thing you don’t know it’s there anymore, it does things to your perceptions that you can’t control.
Thankfully, Lyle and Erik have come an extremely long way in their recovery. They’ve worked hard, they’ve served more than enough time in prison for their deeds, and they deserve their freedom. I hope more people can give them some measure of credit for going through all that and having their horrific trauma dismissed, denied, and minimized by the whole country. They are not a danger to society, or to themselves.
On the subject of boys being moleseted, what about the boys who were abused by priests who never should even gotten into the seminary? The Menendez brothers were abused by their own father which was inexcusable. The fact that nobody believed them, and their own mother didn’t protect them, made it even worse. They almost had no choice but to kill their parents to make it stop. Their parents were rich. If they ran away, they would have been caught and abused even more. They need psychiatric care, victims of abuse, when left untreated can often grow up to be psychologically messed up, and even commit the same kinds of crimes. You have to wonder about their father’s childhood. He was probably mistreated, as well.
As a CSA survivor who's never thought Erik and Lyle were treated justly, thank you for this opportunity.
In addition to ignorance, stupidity, callousness, etc. around the way SA survivors have always been treated, the neuroscience research findings from the early 2000s has cast a new, more reasonable and more humane light on what happens to the mind and bodies of survivors--it would be nice if the legal community and public understood these findings, too.
QR, the country was shocked when this happened. But, if they were abused by their own Father, this should be revisited. The Law requires it. It should take place. Keep fighting for right!
This was really triggering and heavy to read. As someone who has multiple men in my family who were abused as children (one of which is no longer with us) I appreciate you speaking out about this. I have seen first hand the destruction this type of abuse causes in their lives. So much respect for you and your commitment to justice Qasim.
Sort of baffling to say that males can't be raped because they don't have the right equipment, like WTF?
The widely known occurrence of male on male rape in prison is conveniently forgotten when it occurs outside the prison walls. That prosecutor was an ignorant jackass.
I can/can't believe that it is taking this long to do the right thing.
Signed. I hope you succeed.
This is an excellent argument, Qasim. I recall being very frustrated with Dominick Dunne’s coverage of the Menendez trials in Vanity Fair because he so completely dismissed the brothers’ allegations of childhood sexual abuse. Dunne, who died in 2009, says he was frequently beaten as a child by his surgeon father, who called him a “sissy.” He insisted that he was never sexually abused, or tempted to kill him.
I went to high school with Erik & Lyle, a small enough school that we knew who everyone was. I was never comfortable with the trial and sentencing, and have been sickened by what I've been learning in the last few months' articles about their childhood abuse. Can't tell you how relieved I am to hear about their healing despite being in prison. Thank you for speaking up about what they deserve, QR.
What you said in this section "A Legal System Built to Ignore Male Abuse Survivors" And I remember when Terry Crews came forward and the rapper 50 Cents mocked him.
But another case also comes to mind is the trafficking victim that killed her abuser. And still was sentenced to jail. Chrystul Kizer. Even though the court acknowledged that she had been sexually abused and trafficked and was still a minor. The court believed her story, but they decided that she planned the murder.
Thank you! Anyone who is abused deserves the utmost consideration. And we can’t, as a society, be too rigid and self-righteous to correct our mistakes. Witness the current “administration.”
While my doctors say I'm still not supposed to be watching or reading anything news-related, I couldn't help but sign this. Thank you for bringing it to people's attention. I hope you are doing well! 🕊️♥️🤲
Thank you so much for this post, for educating people about what really happened with the Menendez case. It’s good to see someone who understands the psychological and political undercurrents at play here, which were all but invisible at the time.
I remember how the ‘spoiled’ narrative dominated all the reporting back then, and how it got deeply embedded within the public consciousness. Nobody was saying anything then about the damage of sexual abuse- most didn’t even believe their claims. Lyle and Erik were terrorized throughout their childhoods by their own controlling, abusive parents into what they truly perceived as a basic survival situation. It was Imperfect Self Defense, as their lawyer rightly argued. They made a terrible mistake, but they didn’t have a grip on reality because of what their lives had been like, what they’d suffered through in secret for years. Lyle and Erik hadn’t even been allowed to have real friends, only relatives, acquaintances, and each other.
As a result of all the abuse, at that point they were emotionally stunted and immature. Lyle and Erik tried to soothe themselves in the aftermath of the horrific incident by following their parents’ lifelong example: they bought things. They didn’t have the maturity to examine that action; they couldn’t. Spending that money was a learned coping mechanism, and they were adjusting to an unaccustomed freedom that was wildly different from anything they’d experienced before. To me, their ‘shopping sprees’ that were so vilified are the actions of two hurting, confused, traumatized children trying to be grown ups the only way they knew how.
I grew up in a high-control, emotionally neglectful environment, and went through childhood traumas. Thank goodness I didn’t experience what the Menendez brothers did, but I get what they were dealing with. Fear becomes such a constant thing you don’t know it’s there anymore, it does things to your perceptions that you can’t control.
Thankfully, Lyle and Erik have come an extremely long way in their recovery. They’ve worked hard, they’ve served more than enough time in prison for their deeds, and they deserve their freedom. I hope more people can give them some measure of credit for going through all that and having their horrific trauma dismissed, denied, and minimized by the whole country. They are not a danger to society, or to themselves.
Done!
On the subject of boys being moleseted, what about the boys who were abused by priests who never should even gotten into the seminary? The Menendez brothers were abused by their own father which was inexcusable. The fact that nobody believed them, and their own mother didn’t protect them, made it even worse. They almost had no choice but to kill their parents to make it stop. Their parents were rich. If they ran away, they would have been caught and abused even more. They need psychiatric care, victims of abuse, when left untreated can often grow up to be psychologically messed up, and even commit the same kinds of crimes. You have to wonder about their father’s childhood. He was probably mistreated, as well.
Qasim,
As a CSA survivor who's never thought Erik and Lyle were treated justly, thank you for this opportunity.
In addition to ignorance, stupidity, callousness, etc. around the way SA survivors have always been treated, the neuroscience research findings from the early 2000s has cast a new, more reasonable and more humane light on what happens to the mind and bodies of survivors--it would be nice if the legal community and public understood these findings, too.
QR, the country was shocked when this happened. But, if they were abused by their own Father, this should be revisited. The Law requires it. It should take place. Keep fighting for right!
This was really triggering and heavy to read. As someone who has multiple men in my family who were abused as children (one of which is no longer with us) I appreciate you speaking out about this. I have seen first hand the destruction this type of abuse causes in their lives. So much respect for you and your commitment to justice Qasim.
I agree. And sent the email via the link you provided.
Thank you, Deborah.
Thank you for this. I'm a CSA survivor myself and very much support their resentencing. I appreciate the attention on the issue
I'm so sorry for your struggle Tai, and am grateful for your compassion.
Sort of baffling to say that males can't be raped because they don't have the right equipment, like WTF?
The widely known occurrence of male on male rape in prison is conveniently forgotten when it occurs outside the prison walls. That prosecutor was an ignorant jackass.
"lying jackass."